Fuzzy Logic

Although Summer is almost over, Qor doesn’t know it. She’s kinda bummed that we haven’t been going to play at agility anywhere.. She’s too “social” for competition but she loves to run courses. We have jumps but she really really really really really loves the tunnel.

We had one that someone gave us, but it was smelly and loaded full of leaves.. we just couldn’t get it clean.. so we pitched it.

Last night after running jumps.. Qor looked at us and said “Where is my tunnel? You promised me a new tunnel and it’s SEPTEMBER!”.

So we bought one last night.. Knowing that my Buddy Johann the Dog had agility equipment in his store that’s were I headed first.

We picked up the 28 inch diameter practice tunnel, so Targ can get through it too.. he can actually do the 24″ but he’s not a spring chicken anymore..

Can’t wait til it gets here!

Tags: agility, Qor, Targ

Sometimes, well I miss the obvious.

I marvelled at how I was finally sleeping through the night again, and that Targ was too. For the past 4 days or so, I would either suffer from Horrible horrible insomnia (hey look, a sunrise!) or I would wake up every two hours or so…

Targ sleeps at the end of the bed and he kept waking up too.. I assumed it was because he was uncomfortable or he would hear me wake up. Everytime I would wake up, my brain would start running.. “If we do surgery and he’s gonna die on the table. He’s gonna bleed out on the table.. I’m going to lose my boy in surgery.. I ‘ll bring him to the vet and he’ll never wake up… and then, of course, horrendeous sobbing and grief… and the logical brain kicking in.. surgery is the best option.. this could save his life.. why not go with the option that might solve the problem… you’ve already decided to do this, just suck it up and do it.

and I’d look down at the foot of the bed and Targ would have rested his head on my foot and would be looking at me. Sorry I woke you up buddy..

Then this morning.. ze lightbulb of obviousness pops up over my head… his head was already on my foot when I woke up… it’s not like me to not sleep… sleep is what I do when I’m stressed..

Targ was telling me.. when I was most receptive to telepathy.. half asleep and not *thinking*… the little goober was putting his head on my foot and sending me a message.. Don’t do it Momma.

Gawd I love that dog.

Tags: Targ

Based on what the surgeon told us, what we’ve learned about all the different ways Targ could die, we decided on the least invasive option.

We are assuming the best, but treating the worst.

If he has hemangiosarcoma, we have little chance of saving him.

So, we love our big boy for as long as we have him.. if it’s 4 months or 4 years.

And of course, Reiki and other holistic non-invasive treatments will be used to prolong his life with quality of life being an issue.

He keeps telling me he’ll die on the table, and I believe him. So no surgery for my big guy.

Thanks to all of you who have sent well wishes and healing thoughts.

I can’t remember where I’ve updated who… but Targ has a mass on his spleen. Could be a hematoma.. could be a tumor.

My gut is telling me to leave it alone… something is nagging at me but I’m never sure if it’s just my own fear of losing him on the table or if it’s actually something I need to pay attention to. Life sure was “easier” when I just let people make decisions for me.

Anywho, I have a list of questions and I’m prepared to walk out if any of the following occurs:

• I get any serious or real flack over his raw diet.
• They want me to be out of the room when they examine him. (With the exception of x-rays of course.)
• The surgeon give me attitude for my questions, which I believe are valid questions, but I know the mentality around here is just “trust the doctor”. Not me.

In case you are wondering, here are my questions.

1. Prognosis with or without surgery if it’s a hematoma: same for if it’s a tumor (incidentally hemangiosarcomas move VERY quickly)
2. Long term outcomes with or without surgery including chance of bleeding out either way
3. Any special needs after surgery
• meds
• activity
• expectations
4. Recovery after surgery
• Time
• needs
• Expectations
5. Surgical complications because of
• Age (6 is a senior dog in bullmastiffs)
• Weight
• hypothyroidism
6. If this is a hematoma, what are the chances of it healing on it’s own
7. And this is my last consideration because, thank the gods we have an emergency fund: Cost

Thanks to Carol for the awesome idea.